Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The hunt for the Perfect Square

I am sure there are folks who question the Darwinian Theory of Evolution (gasp!) and there are some who question even the Flying Spaghetti Monster Theory (double gasp!). However, show me a single soul who questions the near-infinite nirvana attainment potential of The Loo (or His Loo-ness or El Loo-rino if you're not into the whole brevity thing) and I shall show you the what it feels like to have the IQ of a marker pen. However, it is for these intellectual philistines that I am jotting down the following for posterity..

Have you wondered, as you finish soul-searching in the holiest of the holy places, cleanse your hands and go for the tissue vending machine, that you hardly ever get the right amount of tissue you need...Let me explain..One square is too little and two is too many. How is it that in all the Loos in all the towns in all the world (I am pathetic..I know!), there is not a single one that doles out the right amount...actually let me correct myself here. There IS one place which actually gets is just about right. The men's restroom in this this bar/restaurant called Old Chicago. So I was at this place the other night and I was wiping my hands with the tissue when I saw the light, the re was a light halo around my head and the next thing I knew Enlightenment was achieved. I said to myself," Ramu, this is the most harmoniously shaped tissue you have in your hands now". It did not strike me till much later to pick up a specimen for public viewing and for laboratory testing.

I have a theory about this though. I think that the perfect square of tissue has to do with the ratio of the the length to the width. I think its either (a) the Golden Ratio, or (b) 2.3809:1. I can almost see you folks thinking "2.3809??..Hunh?! This time he HAS gone off his onions". However a little more mental exertion would bring to the fore the fact that 2.3809 is 1/.42..The more perceptive of you folks know where I am going with it. After all, this number ought to figure somewhere other than in the books!..At any rate, I am going to have to go to the dashed place again and pick up a specimen and find out if it is what I think it is..till then, I suggest that my readers not sit on the edge of their seats biting their nails and that they go about their daily businesses (I know its going to be rather tough). I do realize that I might have spoken too soon. I am going to wait, grok this in fullness and when waiting is filled, I shall expound on it..

Till then, Peace To Thee, my water brothers!

2 Comments:

Blogger Deray said...

I wonder if the women's restroom has this same awesomeness, I will need to check it up.

11:22 AM, June 26, 2008  
Blogger Swaps said...

I really hope someone catches you staring at a tissue in the restroom. Atleast that will prevent you from throwing numbers at people.

Regression analysis? Someday, I am going to report your blog as spam!

It took me a whole 20 minutes to figure that out.... I never given so much thought to anything! :)

2:18 AM, August 08, 2008  

Post a Comment

<< Home