Monday, November 21, 2005

Dream come true!

I think this is the single thought every boy has had at some point in time or the other. What does the bloody ladies' restroom look like! It's not so much a curiosity as it is a masochistic pleasure to have this motherlode of sacrosanct knowledge of the Holy Temple(!!) known to him. The crux of the matter - I got to know what it DOES look like, first hand, 3D! That's one dashed thing off my list.

What happened was this. There is this restroom that I use before and after my meetings on Monday. This Monday, I went in and the place had changed! I could see no urinals and the place was painted PINK. I agree that given that a man's bean is at its ripest in the vicinity of a potty, my brain must have lit up like a Christmas tree and should have pleaded to me to get my heinie out of that place in a flash. Alas, that did not happen and all I thought was," That was one FAST renovation!". This in mind, I went to the potty (shrouded from the evil world by a curtain!), having let go of that unspeakable burden, having had that "moment of clarity", I proceeded to wash my hands. I looked for the paper towel that was supposed to be next to the sink and did not find it. What was in it's position instead was a shiny vending machine that said "Napkins - 25 cents; Feminine Tampons - 50 cents". There are a few things in life, for instance, seeing Ms. September in her elements in person or realizing that a St. Bernard is following you with the sole intent of exhibiting your insides to the rest of the world, that can jolt out a man out of mental malaise by the time he can say floccinaucinihilipilification. I would place these words very high in such a list. Anyways, the point is that, at this moment my state was similar to that of Ms. Mia Wallace after that adrenaline shot she got! I got the fuck out that place in the time it takes to say floccinaucicihilipilification!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Costanza on Life

George Costanza - Man is he wise or what. I can already imagine him with a halo around his head. This is something I came across some time back. Read on...
"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no reponsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating... then you finish of as an orgasm !!!Amen"

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Lessons for the day

It is HIGHLY UNACCEPTABLE to get drunk on the day you are shifting apartments...EVEN if it good ol' "Kingfisher - king of good times" you are getting drunk on!

May the Force be with you!